Police Break up Gay Orgy at Flat Owned by Inquisition

Oh ‘Ello, Guv’nuh.  ChurchMouse here.  Our Fleet Street lads, including the Mirror, the Daily Mail, and the Sun, are reporting that Vatican police broke up a drug-fueled homosexual orgy at the home of the secretary to one of Pope Francis’s key advisers, Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio.  Coccopalmerio heads the “Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts,” and once recommended his secretary, the unnamed host of the gay orgy, for promotion to bishop.  Sounds like a right proper bishop to me.

Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio

Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio

Turns out that the flat, located only a short stroll from the Vatican, is owned by the “Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,” or Holy Office, which in Ye bad ‘ole days was known as the Inquisition.  The inquisition, founded to torture folks into confessing to being Protestants, Jews, or Muslims so as they might seek absolution before being burned at the stake, has now been tasked with investigating the sexual abuse of children by the Roman Catholic clergy.  Nice that those folks at the “Holy Office” have found employment for their particular set of skills.

 

Vatican cops struggle to process what they saw at the Inquisition's Flat

Vatican cops struggle to process what they saw at the Inquisition's Flat

If Vatican police tried to quash this salacious story, the ol’ cat fairly clawed her way out ‘o the bag; the Italian newspaper Il Fatto Quotidiano (“the Daily Fact”) reported the story last month.  According to Il Fatto, the neighbours became suspicious about the irregular behaviour of them what was coming and going at the flat, and phoned up the constabulary.  When the coppers arrived, they found drugs amongst a bunch of blokes doing what men ought not do with other men. 

Cardinal George Pell

Cardinal George Pell

 Steady on there, mate. Church tradition must be carried on from one generation to the next. Speaking of which, I note that the Vatican’s 76-year-old financial officer, Cardinal George Pell, has been charged with “historical sexual offences” by the state of Victoria, Australia.  Pope Francis appointed the Aussie cleric to clean up the Vatican’s murky finances, but it seems Pell’s murky sexual past has scotched that plan for now.

Never a dull moment for Pope Francis, eh guv’nuh?  Cheerio!

Update: Subsequent reporting has revealed the name of the secretary to Cardinal Coccopalmerio who hosted the orgy:  Monsignor Luigi Capozzi, 49, from Salerno.

ChurchMouse

"The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry . . . " 1 Tim. 4:1-3.