Catholic Church: New Priests Will be Expected to Preach Global Warming

Catholic Online reports that new priests will be expected to be familiar with and promote efforts to reduce carbon emissions.

LOS ANGELES, CA (California Network) -- The Catholic Church is intimately concerned about climate change. The Vatican's Pontifical Academy of Sciences is the world's oldest, longest running scientific mission. That body, which advises the pope on matters of science, has concluded that global climate change is real and is caused by human activity. 

This is important to the Church because creation care is part of our mission. We are called to be stewards of creation. It's also important because climate change can exacerbate the ills of poverty. Poor people in much of the world are the most vulnerable to changes. 

The new guidelines suggest that in the future, priests will also have a good grasp of the global climate change problem and will share this with their congregation. 

The Vatican accuses the fossil fuel industry of funding climate change skeptics.  I am still waiting on my check.

As any self-respecting student of history knows, Christianity was co-opted by the Roman Catholic Church in the post-apostolic period, leading to a prolonged period known as the Dark Ages.  Throughout this period, the RCC enriched themselves through the marketing of indulgences (heavenly sin-tickets) to a poor-but-willing populace eager to buy their way into heaven.  Thus, this 'glittered in gold' embodiment of Revelation 17 now sits in the perfect place to orchestrate unscientific preaching.  This repetition of history from the Vatican occurred first in the 17th Century when the Inquisition hauled up Galileo simply because he had the audacity to provide hard, scientific evidence contrary to the Church’s teachings.  After all, mates, if they can preach immaculate conception with a straight face, why not anthropogenic global warming?

But there is hope.  The Bible assures us that there is a Remnant who realizes that the universe does not revolve around Rome, but rather around a Heavenly Jerusalem, whose Builder and Maker is God.  This Remnant is a modern-day counterpart of Martin Luther--folks who live by faith, and hold fast to the Scriptures.  An excerpt from them:

“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer and day and night shall not cease” (Genesis 8:22).


Cheerio, me lads!  And stay cool.