The motion picture “Fifty Shades of Grey” opened on February 13, 2015, the eve of St. Valentine's Day. The film was hyped by online trailers and even an expensive Super Bowl spot. The film was enough of a commercial success to spawn two sequels, “Fifty Shades Darker” which opened in February 2017, and “Fifty Shades Freed,” which opened in February of last year.
The films were based on a trilogy of books written by “E.L. James,” the nom-de-plume of British author Erika Mitchell (b. 1963), and tell the story of a “romance” between recent university graduate Anastasia Steele and billionaire entrepreneur Christian Grey. Their relationship includes practices known as BDSM, an acronym that stands for Bondage, Domination, and Sado-Masochism.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” was first published in May 2011, as an electronic book, or e-book, and a “print on demand” paperback by a small Australian virtual publisher. Through “viral marketing” and word of mouth, the book became a publishing phenomenon, selling over 35 million copies in the U.S. alone. It was picked up by a larger publisher in 2012, translated into 52 languages, and has sold over 70 million copies internationally, for total sales of over 100 million copies.
The astonishing success “Fifty Shades” franchise is attributed in part to the rise of e-books, and e-readers like the Kindle and the Nook, which make it possible to purchase and download a naughty book without having to face a sales clerk or hide a physical book with a suggestive cover from family. Since 2011, Amazon has been selling more e-books than printed books.
Anything successful will be copied, and the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey” has spawned a new genre of chick-lit: erotic romances written by women for women and containing light BDSM. There are now thousands of these books and scores, perhaps hundreds, of women writing them. The basic elements of this genre are a wealthy, confident, assertive man—an “alpha male”—who becomes the dominant (“dom”) or master, a girl who is not particularly beautiful or confident who becomes his willing submissive (“sub”), light BDSM, and a happy ending in which two psychologically tormented yet attractive people fall in love and live “happily ever after” (the “HEA” ending).
The “Fifty Shades” phenomenon has already drawn the attention of social scientists. A study published in the Journal of Women's Health, in August, 2014, surveyed women aged 24 or below who had read the books and compared them to a control group of the same demographic who had not. The results showed a correlation between having read at least the first book in the trilogy and (1) exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, (2) having romantic partners who were emotionally abusive and/or engaged in stalking behavior, (3) binge drinking, and (4) promiscuity, defined as having had 5 or more partners before age 24.
The study showed only correlation, not causation, because there was no way to tell whether young women who already had these problems were attracted to read the books, or whether reading the books caused the problem behaviors. A further weakness was that the study made no distinction between women who enjoyed the books and those who did not. Nevertheless, the study's lead researcher concluded that the books romanticize dangerous behavior and perpetuate abuse.
What accounts for the “Fifty Shades” phenomenon? Certainly not the quality of the writing; literary critics have found that the prose ranges from undistinguished to embarrassingly amateurish. The books’ success is due to their thematic elements: Mitchell tapped into an under-served vein of female fantasy. My friend David Read has a theory that women are unsatisfied with today's anti-patriarchal regime of equal responsibility and authority in the workplace and at home, and secretly yearn for the male leadership of traditional patriarchy; they react by seeking out an exaggerated expression of male dominance in the bedroom, or at least in their fantasy life. I'm not sure I agree with David's theory, but clearly there are thematic elements in the book that strongly appeal to many women.
One of these is the deep-seated need for security, including financial security. This explains why there are so many billionaires in the “Fifty Shades” genre: a billionaire can easily meet any woman's need for financial security, lavishly supplying her needs, wants, desires, and wildest dreams. It is not good, however, for a woman to feed her “Cinderella Complex” to such an extreme extent. A woman needs to be capable of economic autonomy in order to freely choose to enter, and remain in, a healthy relationship with a man. Fantasizing about being swept away by a billionaire prince and having all of life’s economic needs and wants magically answered is not helpful in real life.
Women also have a strong need for physical security, and they look to their men to provide that. In the first “Fifty Shades” book, there is a scene in which Christian Grey pulls Ana Steele out of the path of an oncoming cyclist; in a later scene, Ana Steel “drunk dials” Christian, who tells her that he will come and get her because she is in no condition to drive herself home. A woman wants her man to be concerned for her safety. Husbands, your wife expects you to be her protector, so be sure that you are. Let her know you're concerned for her safety and are taking steps to secure it. Do this without being asked—if she has to ask, it counts against you.
The constant communication between Christian and Anastasia is another aspect of the novel that appeals to women. There are a relatively few salacious passages scattered around a 550-page novel; the rest is talking, emailing, texting, and endless negotiations over a “contract” that specifies the parameters of their relationship. Women love communication.
Also attractive is the amount of time spent on the relationship. Women love it when their husbands spend time on the relationship. Truthfully, most couples should spend more time planning for marital bliss: read Song of Solomon, set the mood with music, arrange the right lighting, fragrances, candles, sheets, whatever will enhance the experience. Ellen White said, “Continue the early attentions. . . . Study to advance the happiness of each other.” Adventist Home p. 106.
Whatever the reason for the “Fifty Shades” phenomenon, there can be no good reason for a Christian to read pornographic books. (I did not read any of the books or see any of the movies to write this article; there was plenty of information on the Internet.) This genre appeals primarily to women over the age of 30, so it has often been called “mommy porn,” but porn it clearly is. And there is much evidence that pornography is damaging our society.
Even Hollywood is recognizing that visual pornography poses a danger for our society. Three recent Hollywood films have addressed the social problems caused by the ubiquity and widespread viewing of Internet porn:
• “Thanks for Sharing” (2012) follows three men who are struggling with sexual addiction. The Mark Ruffalo character cannot be trusted alone with a laptop, tablet, or smart phone (he carries an older flip-phone), or his life soon dissolves into an uncontrolled tempest of destructive sexual acting out.
• In the film “Don Jon” (2013) the title character is a fit, handsome young man who has no problem attracting beautiful women, but he has come to prefer self-abuse to internet pornography over relations with real women.
• “Men, Women and Children” (2014) explores the changes to our society brought about by the fact that we are all—men, women and children—constantly connected to the Internet. Many issues are explored, including websites specifically designed to facilitate extra-marital affairs, but the most poignant story is that of a teenage boy who has so perverted his sexuality by abusing himself to extreme, bizarre Internet porn that when every boy's teenage dream girl throws herself at him, he is unable to respond normally to her.
Hollywood has little use for Christian sexual morality, and has consistently promoted promiscuous behavior, homosexuality, and every form of gender confusion. Most filmmakers are not Christians. For example, “Men, Women and Children” adopts, in Emma Thompson's voice-over narration, an explicitly atheistic, even nihilistic philosophy. When even the atheistic movie-makers in anti-Christian Hollywood are creating films showing how porn is causing serious problems, you can be sure that things are very bad.
Some assert that the Bible says nothing about pornography, but it does. The word pornography is derived from the Greek root word porneia, which was transliterated into the King James English as “fornication.” “Fornication” has come to be understood narrowly as sexual relations between unmarried persons. But the term encompasses any sexual expression outside of marriage, including viewing or reading pornography and masturbating (which is typically done while viewing or reading pornography). Thus, pornography is condemned by all biblical passages that condemn porneia. (See, e.g., Acts 15:20, 29; 21:25; 1 Cor. 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 2 Cor. 12:21; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Rev. 9:21)
The “Fifty Shades” genre cannot but have a wrong moral influence on those who get caught up in it. The characters in these novels are never married. Often a future marriage is implied by the HEA ending, but the sex depicted in these novels is mostly not marital relations. This genre promotes a lowering of moral standards, encouraging women to engage not only in out-of-wedlock relations, but also to experiment with extreme and potentially dangerous and/or abusive practices.
It is widely acknowledged that male-oriented porn demeans real women, who are made to compete with professionally posed, photographed, and re-touched images of freakishly attractive women. This creates unrealistic expectations of female beauty in the porn consumer, and causes his wife to feel insecure, unattractive, and inadequate to fully answer her husband’s needs.
Studies conducted in the 1980s by Dolf Zillman and Jennings Bryant found that porn isn’t good for relationships. A man’s repeated exposure to typical, non-violent pornography results in increased callousness toward women, a devaluation of the importance of monogamy, decreased satisfaction with a wife’s appearance and sexual performance, and increased doubts about the value of marriage. Wives typically consider their husband’s viewing of porn as a form of infidelity, and it hurts them.
While men are visual, women are verbal. With women, the portal to temptation is usually not the eye but the word, written or spoken. The verbal “mommy porn” of the “Fifty Shades” genre is just as bad as the visual porn to which men fall prey, and just as corrosive to marriage.
Your real-life husband will appear inadequate by comparison with a super-wealthy, super-handsome, super-dominant, super-solicitous fantasy lover. Most flesh-and-blood husbands are not billionaires, nor do they sport “six-pack” abs, nor do they anticipate, understand, and meet your every emotional need, as well as your deeply hidden desires. These fantasy men are created by female writers, and are written to appeal to women in ways real men often fall short.
Reading this junk will decrease your satisfaction with your husband, no matter how often you remind yourself that the books are fantasy—just as your husband’s viewing of a naked, silicone-enhanced 20-year-old will reduce his appreciation for your appearance and his satisfaction with your marital bed. (Don’t be fooled by the pitch that his goal in viewing porn is to enhance your marriage; it does not work that way.)
As Christians, this is not what we should be putting into our minds. Paul has given us guidelines for our leisure-time reading:
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8
Clearly, the “Fifty Shades” genre does not meet this standard. Flee from mommy porn like Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife!