‘Ello, Mouse here, checking in from West Houghham! It’s been a fortnight or two since we last spoke. Ever so sorry, chaps. I’ve been on the go, motoring through northern France, dining on free-range croissants, buckwheat crêpes and washing the whole lot down with a spot of Crisp Cidre. It’s not proper English tea, yet it will do. But I digress..
Listen up, me fellow Adventists. Your Big Apple has a big worm in it. Champagne Socialists, all.
New York State, that mad concrete jungle with more rotters than rats in the sewers, has gone and dustbinned the word “mother” like it’s last week’s vegetarian haggis.
The blighters want to change the word mum or mothers to “gestating parent” on the birth certificates? And poor old dad? He’s been demoted to “non-gestating parent.” Fancy that. The Empire State, birthplace of bagels, skyscrapers and enough shrinks to sink the Titanic, has decided the most ancient, gut-wrenching, sweat-soaked miracle in human history needs a bureaucratic makeover. Why?
Because some clever woke blokes reckoned “mum” was too binary for the snowflakes. So now we’ve got surrogates, same-sex pairs and anyone who finds “mother” offensive getting their feelings stroked while the rest of us choke on our tea, laughing.
Imagine the poor little nipper on his first day at school: “Gestating Parent, can I have me lunch money?” And the woman who ballooned up for nine months, chuckin’ up every mornin’ and waddlin’ like a duck on rollers, just sighs. Meanwhile Non-Gestating Dad’s standin’ there, still wondering if he can be called “guv” at the footie without gettin’ nicked. It’s bonkers, almost as bad as that hobnocker Keir Starmer throwing open the UK door to grinning muslim rape hordes. But I digress.
Birth announcements?
“Congrats to Gestating Parent and Non-Gestating Parent on Successfully Extruding one (1) Offspring. No returns.”
Hallmark cards’ll need a whole new section: “To My Favourite Uterus-Renter.” It’s proper mental, ain’t it?
Mother’s Day becomes Gestating Parent Appreciation Day – sounds more like a support group for rented wombs than a knees-up.
Father’s Day? Non-Gestating Appreciation, mate.
Hospitals handin’ out leaflets: “So You’re About To Gestate: Don’t Die of Embarrassment Fillin’ Out the Forms.” This isn’t inclusion, it’s linguistic vandalism with a side order of codswallop!
Real mums (Adventist especially) aren’t clinical machines; they’re the irreplaceable helpmeets who kept the species goin’ through plagues, wars and dodgy nappies. Dads aren’t “non-anything’” – they’re the ones who (hopefully) stick around, fix the leakin’ tap and teach the kid how to shoot a proper skeng or hit a dodgy curveball.
New York’s Lemon Squeezy Pronoun Lefties (just like the La Sierra blokes), sitting in their ivory towers, reckon they can rewrite biology by changing the paperwork. Soon pregnant New Yorkers’ll be tickin’ boxes: “Current Gestational Status: Yes/No/Maybe?”
Now, let’s be quite clear, the transgender nutters are central to this entire project. These are the blighters who are telling us that women can now have prostate glands and men can menstruate. So we’re talking about multiple levels of insanity which could quickly become New York state law. The Roman Catholic left footers in New York, bless their hearts, released a statement accusing the legislators of action that will, “Further muddy what is true and good.” They’re quite right, but they seem to miss the point that “muddying what is true and good” and subverting the entire moral order is the entire goal of the project. The goal of this insanity is nothing less than the collapse of truth, creation order, marriage, morality, and civilization (which we Brits started).
Words matter, don’t they? Call a mum a “gestating parent” and you might as well call the Thames a “large wet thing.” Technically true, but spiritually bankrupt. New York can faff about with its PC pronouns all it likes. Mums’ll still be mums, dads’ll still be dads, and kids’ll keep comin’ out cryin’ regardless.
Cheers to the proper conservative SDA parents – gestating, non-gestating, and stubbornly old-fashioned. The future depends on you, PC paperwork be hanged.
God save the King, that benighted tree-hugging geopolitical global warming gormless blighter. And more importantly, God save grand old Adventism from these leftist rotters.
Pip pip cheerio!
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